Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
