I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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