I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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