i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
