It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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