How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
