I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
