Swine flu. Run for my life!
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
