My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
