i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
