It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
