her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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