Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize