Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
