Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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