I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dick very happy bro
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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