it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
