isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
