Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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