I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
