Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize