I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
