I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
