What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
