Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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