And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My bed smells like the plague
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize