walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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