this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
