Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
