i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
