I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
