Swine flu. Run for my life!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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