Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
