Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize