Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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