I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
