butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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