First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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