HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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