Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We are all done wearing pants today
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
