yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
