one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
