i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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