I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
