I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
