On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
