Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
