we're chasing vodka with high fives
please come you make the beer taste better
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
