i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
