the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
