Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
