I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
