Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
