you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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