Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
