Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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