Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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