I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
