Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
