It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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