Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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