So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
