do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
