I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
