Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
