i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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