we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i believe in u and ur pee
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
