so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
