i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
3pm strippers are depressing
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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